House of the Tomato

If a woman wants to be a poet, she must dwell in the house of the tomato. -- Erica Jong

Regional website for the Wisconsin Fellowship of Poets, in partnership with the Reader's Loft.

GREEN BAY / NORTHEAST

Celebrating, sharing and inspiring poetry throughout Wisconsin.

Complete rewrite of first poem "Becoming Transparent"

My current "Becoming Transparent" poem is long and reads like a prose poem. I wanted impact. So completely rewrote it..I looked up Anna's actual words from the letter she gave us...and it seemed perfect for another pantoum:  What do you think of this?  First poem, to intro the series:

revision 4/13/2016:  Tenses! I changed them all back this afternoon, from what I told you earlier today.....first line is past tense. (consistency!)

Becoming Transparent (A pantoum)

We were gathered in the family room
the day our son told us,
I’ve got an announcement that’s a long time coming,”
handing us a letter in an envelope

the day our son told us
we read silently, he watched anxiously,
handing us a letter in an envelope.
“I'm transgender, I identify as a woman.”

We read silently, he watched anxiously.
“Going forward I will finally live openly and fully as a woman.”
“I'm transgender, I identify as a woman.”
We felt time-stopped shock, at the word woman

“Going forward I will finally live openly and fully as a woman.”
“After years of turmoil and questioning, I finally feel right.”
We felt time-stopped shock, at the word woman.
"I’ve begun to understand myself and discovered what makes me happy."

“After years of turmoil and questioning, I finally feel right.”
"I’ve got an announcement that’s a long time coming”
"I’ve begun to understand myself and discovered what makes me happy."
We were gathered in the family room.

 

 

 

 

© 2017 House of the Tomato