House of the Tomato

If a woman wants to be a poet, she must dwell in the house of the tomato. -- Erica Jong

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GREEN BAY / NORTHEAST

Celebrating, sharing and inspiring poetry throughout Wisconsin.

A Beautiful Land

Tori- I’ve been messing with line length changing three line stanzas to 4-line stanzas. Does it makes sense , or does it look awkward? In three line stanzas, some of the lines were too long. And does the last line make the poem? Or is it editorializing? I‘ve edited it in and out.

and then, is this poem just too narrative? I feel like it needs to be spiced up, but I am not sure how.

My brother saw the land of Vietnam from a helicopter
before they dropped him and his buddies
into the bush to fight. He said it was surprisingly
beautiful in spite of the war.

 From the air
he saw rice paddies perfectly laid out
in geometric patterns created by farmers,
water buffalo and simple wooden plows.

The aerial jungle revealed
a spectrum of all shades green.
In contrast, he noted areas of defoliation,
erasure of green, deep wounds on the earth from bombs.

 Another veteran I know
returned to Vietnam 40 years
after the war, he told me
the country is lush and beautiful again.

He said, There is no sign the United States was ever there,
except for displays in the museum
that describe how the people
of our country ruined their country. 

It hurts my heart to know this.


 

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