Hat Trick

For fun. I could send this perhaps to that aging anthology. I’m still tweaking music and rhythm, some lines are awkwardly longer. I like it short and snappy.

At the hospital my Nurse says “Wait, let me get you a hat”

 Hat Trick

Three wickets in cricket
three goals in hockey,
but bad for a batter with
three outs in one game,
or even Chaplin's bowler twirling.

In the hospital I was told
pee in a plastic hat
placed in the bowl,
the toilet kind.
Sitting over it
am I on it
or not?
Where will this go
when I let go?

A measuring cup of a hat,
a sorting hat of sorts
where the magic is measured,
debits must equal credits 

measures not circumference
but content.
It’s always about content,
IV drip, drip, flow.
Run it through 
all systems - go!

There’s a trick in the gown,
three tries to do the ties
now I’m naked in front of the mirror
next to my yellow hat below,
pole dancing an IV pump,
now where does the tissue go?
Certainly not in the hat!

I’ve been recently asked
If I’ve had a poop yet
wish I could give them
a hat trick of that.